Some time ago I was rereading a favorite fantasy novel, "Nobody's Son", by Canadian author, Sean Stewart. Towards the end, I came across a paragraph that made me pause in wonder. In the book, Mark, is saying goodbye to his closest friend, who is returning to his own home to speak to his estranged father. The passage reads thusly: "How much of life is like this?...Is that what being grown up means? Saying goodbye as often as hello? More to wave back to with every step."
It's certainly true that introspection comes with age; as we move into the future, we find ourselves thinking back to decisions made, and the consequences long since weathered. Were they the right ones? Did we make a difference in the lives of others? What has become of those great friends we had in our youth? Have they achieved those dreams and goals decided upon in the heat of our youth? I've asked all of these questions at one time or another, and in some cases have even sought out the answers, which have always surprised me. More often than not, the people whom I thought 'had it all' not only didn't, but arrived at an unhappy end.
But making an end--waving goodbye to someone, or some part of your life--provides closure. It's a chance of finalize your relationship to that person or situation. A word unsaid, or a problem left undone rankles in the soul like a cramped muscle, affecting our lives and eating away at us until we can bear it no longer. Then we must settle the score, or see our lives unhinged by something that can only be settled by attending to it.
But more often than not, we find ourselves waving goodbye to friends and family; some who die, and others who move on to another stage of their life, which takes them away from us. Sometimes we find them again, but most often, we do not. In a loose moment, last month, I found myself wondering about a friend whom I'd not seen in 30 years. The last time I'd seen him, he was dressing for a date, and actually wearing a button-down shirt, which was unusual as I'd only seen him in T-shirts. So, last month, out of curiousity, I Googled his name, and found a picture of him on the staff of a university in Australia. According to the site, he'd received tenure a few years before. His face was heavier than I remembered him, but I recognized him instantly. Father of three, the site said, and I marveled at the changes in his life. We are now strangers, so I silently bade him goodbye, and closed the window.
Stewart's imagery calls to mind a slightly sad person, waving goodbye to his friend, but also to his childhood. In the book, Mark has faced down danger and a threat to his family, and is coming to terms with the fact that the rest of his life will likely be spent doing similar things. It's a very powerful moment in the book, because Mark is coming to terms with the direction of his life, and the likely events that he will encounter on his journey. He realizes that he can no longer take comfort in the stability of his childhood, but must move forwards into adulthood. But the childhood moments and the mistakes that he has made continue to pull at him, and he finds himself looking backwards.
The imagery is familiar, I'm sure, to many people. But there is a competing idea which I'm familiar with, which uses almost the same image, though different words.
Screenwriter J. Michael Straczynski put it this way, "We have to make people lift their eyes back to the horizon, and see the line of ancestors behind us, saying, 'Make my life have meaning.' And to our inheritors before us, saying, 'Create the world we will live in.'...Only by making people understand that can we hope to create a better world for ourselves and our posterity."
So, yes, there is more to wave back to as we get older, and leave our childhood behind. But, perhaps, when we drop our hands, we should turn and look to the horizon, see how best to lay the path that we and our inheritors must tread. The path itself doesn't go anywhere, after all, but we are the ones who must walk it.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Lifestyle Changes
Not long ago I began serious training in physical fitness, and a personal trainer completely reworked my food schedule. I keep a daily “food log” of what I’m eating, and everything is recorded, clear down to how many glasses of water I drink. With such a system of record-keeping in place, it’s damn near impossible to cheat, and after a while, I don’t want to. My mind is constantly aware of how much I’m eating or drinking, and I find myself increasingly conscious about food in general.
After monitoring my diet, and my body’s reaction to particular foods, I now find myself gravitating more and more toward self-preparation. When I attend my university classes, I bring along a lunchbox filled with fruit, baked chicken, rice balls, and slices of cucumber sprinkled with rice-vinegar and sesame seeds. I look around myself and see classmates chowing down double hamburgers dripping grease, or slices of pizza.
After a time, I realized that my trainer had not just instituted a new system of exercise, he had converted me to a new lifestyle: one organized on a principle of personal efficiency. Not just for healthy food, but for healthy living. Through it, I find myself doing things differently, and feeling better for it. Sleep is another change; more of it, and more time for it.
Where before I would think nothing of pulling an all-nighter, or going to an all-night poker party and getting by on four or five hours of sleep, now I hit the sack by nine or ten o’clock. There’s much to be said for getting to bed early, reading a book or listening to something before turning off the lights. With podcasts and DVR’s, there’s no need to stay up late, and what good does it do anyway? By the time the clock reads 10:00 PM, I’m sound asleep. My alarm goes off at 0600, and I flip on the coffee maker on my bedside table, loaded with water and a teabag the night before (coffee gives me heartburn). By the time I’m out of the shower, there’s a full pot of tea waiting for me. Then it’s off to the club for a workout before the day’s work begins.
Stretching, toning, elliptical exercises, cardio, dumbbells, free-weights, stretches, snatches, power-cleans, pushups, rowing, situps, karate, and always water; constant hydration.
By the time my training session ends, I’m feeling supercharged, and ready for the day’s challenges. At lunch I see people hurriedly gulping double espressos or throwing a bran muffin into their gullets before charging off who knows where; constantly looking at their watches, hoping against hope that there is still time to make the deadline. Sure, I’ve got deadlines, but with careful planning ahead, you can get the work done and not feel pressed for time.
As part of my new regimen, I’ve sworn off fast food, and set aside time to make my own meals. Sure, it’s more work, but you get a lot more choices than just three different sizes of fries. Even as I write these words, I’m taking careful bites of a green salad with chunks grilled beef, covered with oil & vinegar dressing. I’ll complement this with a Fuji apple and a couple of carrots and a handful of blueberries for dessert. I feel great; it’s too bad not everyone else does.
Every day around lunchtime I see the same 20-something with a slice of pizza in his mouth, and every day he looks a little heavier, his face a little more unshaven, the skin on his cheeks a little more slack, the eyes a little more glassy. I think he’s living on caffeine and pizza with extra cheese; as a diet, not good.
According to a recent report, the PB&C milkshake contains 2,010 calories, and is equivalent to eating 68 strips of bacon, or 30 chocolate chip cookies in one sitting. www.msnbc.msn.com/id/374036...nutrition/
I’m still trying to wrap my head around that: 68 strips of bacon! Take a good look America—this is what’s filling your arteries!
After monitoring my diet, and my body’s reaction to particular foods, I now find myself gravitating more and more toward self-preparation. When I attend my university classes, I bring along a lunchbox filled with fruit, baked chicken, rice balls, and slices of cucumber sprinkled with rice-vinegar and sesame seeds. I look around myself and see classmates chowing down double hamburgers dripping grease, or slices of pizza.
After a time, I realized that my trainer had not just instituted a new system of exercise, he had converted me to a new lifestyle: one organized on a principle of personal efficiency. Not just for healthy food, but for healthy living. Through it, I find myself doing things differently, and feeling better for it. Sleep is another change; more of it, and more time for it.
Where before I would think nothing of pulling an all-nighter, or going to an all-night poker party and getting by on four or five hours of sleep, now I hit the sack by nine or ten o’clock. There’s much to be said for getting to bed early, reading a book or listening to something before turning off the lights. With podcasts and DVR’s, there’s no need to stay up late, and what good does it do anyway? By the time the clock reads 10:00 PM, I’m sound asleep. My alarm goes off at 0600, and I flip on the coffee maker on my bedside table, loaded with water and a teabag the night before (coffee gives me heartburn). By the time I’m out of the shower, there’s a full pot of tea waiting for me. Then it’s off to the club for a workout before the day’s work begins.
Stretching, toning, elliptical exercises, cardio, dumbbells, free-weights, stretches, snatches, power-cleans, pushups, rowing, situps, karate, and always water; constant hydration.
By the time my training session ends, I’m feeling supercharged, and ready for the day’s challenges. At lunch I see people hurriedly gulping double espressos or throwing a bran muffin into their gullets before charging off who knows where; constantly looking at their watches, hoping against hope that there is still time to make the deadline. Sure, I’ve got deadlines, but with careful planning ahead, you can get the work done and not feel pressed for time.
As part of my new regimen, I’ve sworn off fast food, and set aside time to make my own meals. Sure, it’s more work, but you get a lot more choices than just three different sizes of fries. Even as I write these words, I’m taking careful bites of a green salad with chunks grilled beef, covered with oil & vinegar dressing. I’ll complement this with a Fuji apple and a couple of carrots and a handful of blueberries for dessert. I feel great; it’s too bad not everyone else does.
Every day around lunchtime I see the same 20-something with a slice of pizza in his mouth, and every day he looks a little heavier, his face a little more unshaven, the skin on his cheeks a little more slack, the eyes a little more glassy. I think he’s living on caffeine and pizza with extra cheese; as a diet, not good.
According to a recent report, the PB&C milkshake contains 2,010 calories, and is equivalent to eating 68 strips of bacon, or 30 chocolate chip cookies in one sitting. www.msnbc.msn.com/id/374036...nutrition/
I’m still trying to wrap my head around that: 68 strips of bacon! Take a good look America—this is what’s filling your arteries!
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